What Leah Saw: Britney Spears
by DitzyBrunette89
Summary: Nothing is going to stop Leah from getting laid, espically not Jake dancing to Britney Spears.


**I don't own Twilight.**

Since Leah's last visit to the Cullen household, (she couldn't help avoid the place, despite being on friendly terms with the vamps. she couldn't help but feel like the big breasted ditz who got killed off first in horror movies whenever she walked into their home.)

So when Jake had made his Dailey trek over to the bloodsuckers house, to see his little Imprint leaving her to check the boundaries _again, _it was like he didn't think she had a life outside of the pack and embarrassing him... while both amusing and joyful was not what her world revolved around.

Tonight she had a date, yes, an actual date, she shaved her legs and even wore an extra sexy pair of underwear as well (_Hey, _a girl could dream couldn't they, it _had _been a while.)

She was about to apply her final coat of eyeliner when she realised she hadn't called Jake yet, which she didn't see why she really had too, ever since the war that never was there was nothing.

Zero

Zilch

Nada

Absolutely no fucken vampire activity in the past two years. But he still insisted on face to face clearance_._

"_Because Leah, A vampire could be holding you hostage telling you what to day, and who would know the difference."_

So with a huff and a groan she grabbed her bag and kicked off her heels, deciding to carry them with her, there was no point in letting her feet suffer an extra half hour for nothing.

Her drive to the Crypt was quick, maybe she had picked up a couple of speeding tickets on the way but she was pretty sure that she could talk her way out of them.

She quickly slammed the door and made her way to the door, usually one of them opened the door before she even got to knock but this time her knocks went unnoticed. Weird.

Checking her watch and finding out she only had about ten more minutes before fashionably late became standing him up, Leah took a leap of faith and opened the door.

She snorted; it figured vampires didn't feel the need to lock their doors.

She quickly made her way upstairs, giggling as she remembered her last joint through the Cullen house which made for months of blackmail on her part, how it got onto YouTube she had no idea...

She paused at the little vamps (there was no way in hell she was calling that thing by her given name, honestly you would think the girl would have enough issues without adding a horrible name to the bill, god help her therapist when she was old enough.)

On the cabinet next to be bedroom, sat a box with her name on it. She eyed it wearily, if it was some sort of exploding trap on Emmett's part, screw Blondie Emmett was losing something very, _very _important to him.

Nobody stood in the way of Leah Clearwater and a date.

But in the state of good will she picked up the box and held it away from her face (and outfit) before flicking the box open, she waited.

5

4

3

2

1

Nothing, no exploding colours, or smelly gasses, she assumed she was safe.

Taking a peek into the box she found a sleek, top of the line video camera... vampires with money, just because you had it, it didn't mean you had to spend it.

She took a look at the note and laughed.

_Leah,_

_Just in case_

_Your favourite bloodsucking vampire_

_(Come on you know you can't resist my charms)_

With a grin she slipped the video camera from the box and opened the door carefully.

The music reached her ears and the smiled followed soon after.

_Oops!  
... I did it again.  
I played with your heart.  
Got lost in the game.  
Oh, baby; baby._

Leah pressed record and quickly stuffed her fist into her mouth to stop from laughing.

Jack this time had donned a long blonde wig, and sparkly pink heels (which she noted fitted him perfectly and she was sort of jealous at how well he could dance in them.)

She watched as Jack shook his hips to the Britney spears song singing just off key as last time into a hairbrush, the very short mini skirt he was wearing showed off his very... manly and hair legs.

Little Vamp on the other hand was jumping up and down happily her reddish hair was swaying side to side as she giggled to the music. She too was wearing the same wonky bright red lipstick that had been applied everywhere but her lips as Jake was, her bright purple eye shadow she wore made it look like she had been punched in the face rather that the Smokey eye effect that she was probably going for.

She had to question the girls taste in music, sure she listened to the spice girls and Britney spears when she was little... because she was little in the 90s, shouldn't she be listening to that Hannah... Texas or that boy she couldn't stand that sung like a girl.

With a final grin she closed the video camera and tucked it safely under her arm, she decided against a confrontation this time, her dress was new and she didn't want to rip it during a phase.

As she was leaving the crypt she ran into the vamps, Emmett grinned

"I thought I smelt wet dog." Rosalie sneered before stomping up the stairs.

"Leah, you didn't have to get all dressed up for me, though you are looking pretty sexy tonight." He grinned.

She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, how was your family bonding session, kill Bambi or his mother." She grinned.

"Of course, I made a four course meal out of the entire family...I see you found my present, did you put it to good use." He asked grinning evilly

"Oh, I think I did." She grinned with a wink and a quick side step she ran from home, again breaking yet another few laws before coming to a stop at the restaurant she was to meet her date.

With a grin she made her way inside.

All and all it had been a good night for Leah, she got laid, got even more blackmail on Jake and even scored herself an new video camera.

...

Jake watched wearily as Embry eyed him up with an amused glint in his eyes, he turn to Quill who had the exact same glint.

"What." He asked "Do I have something on my face." He asked rubbing at his face.

"No, not really...it's just, no never mind." Embry grinned.

"What, just tell me." He asked annoyed.

"Its just that... when did you wear purple eye shadow." Quill, managed between laughs.

His eyes widened and he quickly began to wipe at his eyes, which only made the two laughing hyenas beside him fall into even bigger fits of laughter.

He caught his reflection in the glass window beside him, he frowned... there was no eye shadow... which meant.

"LEAH!"

...

Leah grinned as Emmett smirked evilly next to her and rubbed his hands together.

"Gotta love the internet." She grinned as she read through the comments left on Wear Vamp's page.

"Oh look at this one." Emmett grinned "_This guy is such a loser it hurts my eyes." _

"What about this one... "_I can't believe this guy keeps getting caught, I can't wait until the next instalment." _

"What do you have planned for the next instalment?" Leah asked curiously Emmett grinned and held up a CD.

"Backstreet boys were we come."

**I got a Review from GoldenObsdian like months after I posted the first instalment So I decided to add another, I hope you guys like it. **


End file.
